"Geography is not important... until you are lost and being eaten by a crocodile.”

 

  "If 17 year old Kyle whatshisname in Wisconsin had shown up with beer, he’d have been arrested and his beer confiscated, plus have to pay a $150 fine. What a country! Embarrassing is an   understatement.” * ^{see response above}

 

  "I am catholic (small c). You know what happens when the Pope dies? Well, we get a new Pope. Always. I look forward to getting a new Pope, usually before the current one dies.”

  [N.B. – Due to the tetchiness of some people, I clarify : I wish IL PAPA well. Popes can retire, or preferably be retired, but it seems most only answer to god, and only consider their own death as the proper time…but a new Pope is always welcome short term.]

 

  "My Italian-American family has flown the American flag since 1927, right after Sacco and

  Vanzetti were executed.”

 

 

  "Dude! You’re bragging that you just married  a Filipina and that there’s no divorce in the Philippines? Your chances of dying in an accident just went WAY up! Don’t think she’s stuck with you. If she wants to get rid of you, she can. She could probably get her local village priest to do the job, you know…for ‘favors’. ”

 

  "I have no idea what’s going on! I just got here in 1967!” [Warning -this was paraphrased   from  Kurt Vonnegut, and we believe other things may also have been paraphrased, but we just cannot find the  sources. Will investigate further, however, our threat model is through the roof and Library of  Congress says it is all legit, and Ralph’s lawyers ignore our calls.]

 

  On California -

   "They always told us that one day California would sink into the sea. They never said it would burn down first, though.” [Warning –  We  suspect Ralph, as a bona fide native of the “Eastern Seaboard”, doesn’t really care about   California – but to be fair, even Californians are leaving  the state, and we suspect Ralph is not a fan of   the East Coast Establishment – he may in fact be an anti - East Coast Establishmentarian.]

 

  On Florida - “I didn’t see it all there. However, I did get a good start on that list.” 

 

”It’s a great place! It’s a people place. You’ve got to like people. Probably fifty years ago it was a great place if you didn’t like people.”

 

  On Virginia – “I must reconsider the evangelical aspects of my home state. I  mean, who knew the Falwells could be that much fun?”

 

  On Covid 45 – “You know when two people are talking and a little spittle goes flying 

  and  lands on one’s face, and both of them pretend it didn’t happen? Got that? OK, wear a mask! And DON’T tell me masks don’t work!, and don’t call yourself a governor!”

 

  吃喝玩樂是最好! Chī hē wán lè shì zuì hǎo! Eat, drink,  and be merry is the best!

 

 Ralph: Taiwanese sparkling wine is not Champagne! [台灣起跑酒不是香檳!]

 CCP/ 中國共黨 : 一定要解放台灣! [Yīdìng yào jiěfàng  Táiwān!] [We must liberate Taiwan!]

 Ralph: ?

 Ralph: 所有香檳都是起泡酒。並非所有起泡酒都是香檳。 [ Suǒyǒu xiāngbīn dōu shì qǐ pào jiǔ. Bìngfēi suǒyǒu qǐ pào jiǔ dōu shì xiāngbīn]

  [All Champagne is sparkling wine, not all sparkling wine is Champagne.]

  CCP/ 中國共黨 : ?

 

  "When you really think about it, forcing a 10 year old girl to have a baby is not very different than 

  actually raping her. It may in fact be the same thing. There is not much of a qualitative 

  difference.”

 

  On Samuel Alito : “This is what a model foreigner acted like in 1920’s USA. Without that kind of 

  extremism, Alito and his Italian father and Italian-American mother would simply be “dagos” like me.”